Mean Girls

Mean Girls was (and still is) a phenomenon with girls 13-18. In High School, the movie was simply the most quoted movie with the girls at my school. Yes, Mean Girls was a huge hit when it was released and continues to be a cult classic to this day. I was at the mall a few days ago and heard a group of girls quoting it and wondered if the movie still hold up to all the way back when I saw it on the big screen with a date. I got home, turned it on, and decided to push the phenomenon, the current state of Lindsy Lohan, and the fact that most of these people have never worked again, aside and watch it as a movie. The story is an interesting tale and twist on the "new kid moving to town" story. Cady Heron, played by Lindsy Lohan, is a hit with The Plastics, the A-list girl clique at her new school, until she makes the mistake of falling for Aaron Samuels, played by Jonathan Bennett, the ex-boyfriend of alpha Plastic Regina George, played by Rachel McAdams. Throughout the movie there are constant references to the assassination of Ceaser, which is interesting because the movie somewhat retells this story in a modernly (I don't want to give anything away). Anyway, the story is by far the best part of Mean Girls. The movie more builds the story around the characters, making them fit and stay relevant in the world around them, that is hard for a movie about high school. I really like this story and I would like to see it done again in other movies. Mean Girls has a lot of good things in it. Rachel McAdams is a great character. You just hate her even more and more as the movie goes on, like Cady. Mean Girls also has a great set of side characters. The movie is made by the characters as I said, the movie isn't based on action. Ms. Norbury, Mr. Duvall, Mrs. George, Jason, and Kevin are just a few great characters in the movie. I also, think the movie is very well written. There are a few jokes that fall flat, sure but most jokes are well written and offer quite a few laughs. Lastly, I just want to mention the character Damian. He actually delivers more laughs then any other character in the movie so I had to separate him into a different category. That being said, the movie does have a few flaws. The movie did not have a great pay off to what happens to Regina. You see what happens, but it isn't very realistic or funny. I also had problems with the ending overall for the same endings. I hate to say it, but the ending brings down the movie by about a whole star. I did not like the idea of the Burn Book. The payoff, again isn't funny or heartfelt or even interesting. I also felt the movie got very predictable by the end. I remember sitting in the theater and being able to tell where the movie was going to go at about the halfway point. Overall, Mean Girls has surprisingly stood the test of time after all. I may not enjoy it as much as I did back in 2004, but I still think it is a very good comedy. Mean Girls is a very fun and enjoyable comedy and I recommend you see it, even if you are not a fan of Chick Flicks of Lindsy Lohan. 8/10

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

 
Have you hear of a man named John Hughes? He is basically responsible for almost every great movie of the 1980s. Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles are just a few of his masterpieces. Hughes made many great teenage films through his career, but my favorite of his is the buddy travel comedy Planes, Trains & Automobiles. Everything about this movie works and works better then in any comedy I have ever seen. Planes, Trains & Automobiles is Hughes' best film and a Thanksgiving tradition. The story is now a cliché, but only because of this movie. Neil Page, a white collar yuppie, must struggle to travel home for Thanksgiving with Del Griffith, an obnoxious slob of a shower ring salesman his only companion. The idea of this story has so many possibilities, which is why it has been so often imitated. The most recent example I can think of is Due Date, which basically proves that the idea doesn't work well outside of Planes, Trains & Automobiles. There are so many good things in this movie that it would take forever to write down every one. Steve Martin and John Candy have great chemistry. You could actually believe that they were not acting and were actually people who just met for the first time and don't really enjoy each others company. The movie is also very heartfelt. You could almost call Planes, Trains & Automobiles a dramady for how many struggles there are. Throughout the movie there is something happening to Del's wife and the pay off is very good that even you can't help but be moved by a movie where Steve Martin washes his face with John Candy's underwear. But the number one thing about Planes, Trains & Automobiles that makes it one of my favorite films of all time is the comedy. Planes, Trains & Automobiles has to be the funniest movie I have ever seen, followed by Anchorman, Hangover, and Caddyshack. Every few seconds another joke pops up that just brings me to tears. The airplane scene, the hotel room scene, the car rental scene, the wrong way up the freeway scene, almost every joke in this movie make me laugh every time I watch it. I cannot imagine a movie even close to being as funny as this one. Though being the film critic I am, I am forced to nitpick to find a problem with this movie. There is only one thing that kind of irked me. Three or four times the movie cuts to Neil's wife alone in bed, waiting for him. Once or twice it is nice to watch, but as it goes on it tend to make you roll your eyes. Other then that, I cannot think of a single thing wrong. Planes, Trains & Automobiles is one of my favorite movies of the 1980s, only behind Back to the Future and Raiders of the Lost Ark. The movie plays to almost every emotion you have that you love to watch it to see what happens to these characters. The movie is a Thanksgiving tradition around my house and I hope it becomes one of yours. Planes, Trains & Automobiles is not only my favorite comedy, but also my eighteen favorite movie of all time 10/10

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengence

In 2007 we were given Ghost Rider, a superhero that has been widely considered to be one of the worst movies in the genre. I have not seen it mostly because I have not found it anywhere that I don't have to pay money for and if a superhero movie released in 2007 is considered worse then Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer then I don't think I could have the glimpse touch my eyes without opening my eyes out with tacks. I went into Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance with just about as little hype as I possibly could. I heard from many friends that this movie was bad so I decided to not see it in the movie theater, I watched on demand for free and hoped for a movie like Transformers where I could tell it was bad but I would enjoy it anyway. No, Ghost Rider 2 was nothing like that. I watched in awe at just how awful Ghost Rider 2 got. I cannot believe this movie was put out at all. The story is just silly. Johnny Blaze is hiding out in Eastern Europe and is called upon to stop the devil, who is trying to take human form. The form is that of a little kid, who just so happens to be his son. I do not understand how the devil could get any work done in transferring from a grown man to a bratty ten year old kid. Spirit of vengeance has exactly one good thing to it, Idris Elba. He actually looks like he is having fun but is obviously there just for a paycheck. Other then that the movie is just full of garbage. Not a SINGLE character is likable. The mother is annoying, the villains are some of the dumbest characters in film history, and the kid is quite possibly the worst kid in media since Carl from The Walking Dead. The camera shakes constantly almost as if they placed the camera on a paint mixer before rolling. Nicholas Cage overacts his lines to the nth degree. SOMEONE must have known that he was awful, I cannot imagine that anyone could possibly green light a performance like that. He is so bad I would almost recommend to watch it just to see him, but you can find the best parts on YouTube so there is no point. The editing is so bad as well. random scenes will just be cut into dialogue scenes especially one of Ghost Rider pissing fire. Also, they honestly expect you to buy the chemistry between this kid and Johnny Blaze. It could be the most awkward scene sharing in film history. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is the worst movie I have seen since Jack & Jill. NOTHING in this movie works except Elba and that is only because he is always fun. I cannot believe this movie was not stopped by production because it is honestly a top contender with Transformers 2 as worst action movie ever. I cannot recommend this movie to anyone even if you are in the mood for a bad movie. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is a worst superhero movie then Batman & Robin and is, without a doubt, the worst movie of 2012 so far. 2/10

Dark Shadows Review

 

 Burton and Depp have been powers together for years. Ed Wood and Edward Scissorhands have to be two of of Depp's best performances. In Alice in Wonderland Depp was honestly one of the only things I really enjoy about that movie. I bring this up because the number one problem with Dark Shadows IS Depp. This movie has a very weak story, terrible acting, and AWFUL characters. Dark Shadows is the worst Burton movie ever and is definitely one of the worst movies of 2012. The story is a cliché. Barnabas Collins, an imprisoned vampire, is set free and returns to his home, where his descendants are in need of his protection from the same witch that cursed Barnabas. This movie is based off the T.V. show of the same name. If you name a T.V. show that had a movie come out in the last decade, they all have had this story line of characters from old times trying to interact with the current world (Smurfs, Yogi Bear, Scooby Doo, etc.). It is depressing that a horror-comedy made for ADULTS has the same story as the Smurfs. The good things in this movie are minimal. I liked the music as I am an Alice Cooper fan. As always I enjoyed Chloë Grace Moretz. I think she is the best child actress for the past couple years (Hugo, Kick-Ass, etc) and she alone gives the movie some extra spirit. Michelle Pfeiffer was OK as well. Another thing I would like to point out is the grounds keeper has the only funny lines throughout the whole movie. The movie has TONS of problems. The movie is very unsure what it exactly it wants to be. The tone will take a 180 at random points and the plot defiantly suffers. An example is one scene where Barnabas Collins is sitting, talking to a bunch or hippies smoking pot. They are all having a great time and Barnabas even smokes a joint. Immediately after Barnabas say he has to kill them and does. An audience cannot get behind a movie that has no clue what it wants to be. The villain is also very terrible and many scenes and characters go no where. The number one problem that ruins the entire movie is Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins. He gets my award for worst actor of the year and I honestly think he made this movie go from a 5 to a 4. I honestly find him to be intolerable and I really think Depp phoned in this performance. Overall, I really do not like this movie. The story is lame, the acting is terrible (for the most part), and the tone is all over the place. Dark Shadows is a very lazy and unfunny movie that so far is at number 5 for the worst movie of 2012. 4/10

Alice in Wonderland review

 

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland is a film that I really just don't
like, at all. Alice in Wonderland is just an obvious sign of Tim Burton
just going straight downhill and hitting rock bottom. This movie just
doesn't care about any of the characters or the conflict that it just
leaves you with a bad taste by the end. As good and whimsical as the
1951 Disney version is, Burton's version does not even try to enchant
you it more just tries to make you love the movie for the visuals.

Alice in Wonderland is a movie that just doesn't care and is just a bad
movie.The story tries, but fails. 19-year-old Alice returns to the
magical world of wonderland, where she reunites with her old friends
and learns that she has to end the Red Queen's reign of terror. This
movie does not even try to relate the show back to the original movie
or book. Was there even a Red Queen in the original story? You mean the
queen of hearts?

The good in Alice in Wonderland is there, but far
between. Nice visuals, but that should be a given for this movie.
Johnny Depp is good as the Mad Hatter even though he is not memorable
at all. Actually, that is all of the good I can think of, that is sad
that there are so few good things in this movie.

There are a TON of terrible things in this movie. The story is just awful, I mean terrible. It just is obviously there to push along the effects. The acting from out main, Mia Wasikowska, is pretty bad and she basically
sleepwalked throughout the whole thing. I have seen her in good things
like Lawless but she really can't act here. Also, many of the main
characters we are supposed to like are just not likable. Both the
Dormouse and Tweedledee / Tweedledum are just characters I ended up
despising by the end. Tweedledee and Tweedledum are almost Skids and
Mudflap bad, yeah that's right I said it.

Overall, Alice in Wonderland
is just a film I really did not care for. This film doesn't even try to
entertain and comes of more as Transformers for Twilight fans. I can
honestly say Alice in Wonderland is the worst adaptation of this
classic book and one of Burton's worst films. Next, Tim Burton decides
to reinvent one of his favorite T.V. shows, and fails badly.  4/10

Corpse Bride review

I did enjoy Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. For all of its' flaws, it was good solid fun. The Corpse Bride could have been great and could have been one of the greats of clay-mation. Tim Burton, who helped work on The Nightmare Before Christmas one of my favorite films of all time, has an idea how to make a good stop-motion film. The Corpse Bride is a passable movie that has TONS of problems that are constantly overlooked by fans of this movie. The Corpse Bride is only an OK effort. The story centers around Victor. A shy groom who practices his wedding vows in the presence of a dead woman, she rises from the grave assuming he has married her. The story is just silly even compared to other Burton work. There is also a side story about a murder but that isn't even worth mentioning as it is pretty obvious what the twist is. Again this is very character driven. an average story. The good things are good in a sense of that it has to be good. Good music, amazing character designs, nice animation, and cool sets. Then again, ALL Burton movies do all of these so what do I do about it here? The problems are obvious. dumb story, bad characters and predictable plot. I can tell you exactly every way this movie will go from point to point throughout. The characters are lame and the main character is just a wuss. I wasn't rooting for him at all and I just did not care about him. This movie has problems and tie with the good. Overall, the movie is satisfactory. It may look like I bashed this film but that is only because it is so disappointing. The Corpse Bride could have been so much more, but it stands as an average effort of a movie that I was just disappointed in. 6/10

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Here is an old review I did a while back

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a movie I don't understand all the hate for. The movie is slightly less inventive then the 1971 version,but that was a very tough act to follow. The good things in this movie outweigh the bad and the bad things are problems in most to all Tim Burton movies but are just more noticeable here. The story of this movie is one everyone knows. The great candy man Willy Wonka puts out five golden tickets to take a tour of his until now closed factory. The tickets go to Augustus Gloop the glutton of a boy, Violet Beauregarde the competitive girl, Veruca Salt the spoiled one, Mike Teevee a smart but mean gamer, and Charlie bucket the poor little boy. The story is of course timeless and we discover the factory along with the kids. Great story. The good parts outshine the bad. The Acting is good, Grandpa Joe is pretty funny and so are Mr. Salt and Willy Wonka. The kids are OK, nothing special even Charlie himself is only average. I like the Oompa Loompas, the effects are amazing and the songs, while not as good as the original, are great. I do enjoy the factory, it is very cool and colorful and some other sets are nice. Overall, good stuff. The bad in this movie are noticeable, but are bad things in almost every Tim Burton. Some sets do kind of twist around each other.While not as annoying as it was in Batman, it is still very distracting. The movie also has way to many characters. The other grandparents, Mrs. Gloop, Mr. Teevee, and Mrs. Beauregarde are all just there and have absolutely no importance to the story. There is also a side story about Wonka's past which is just dumb and it has a VERY disappointing payoff. And the ending........wow. The ending is just terrible. but these are problems for most Burton movies so yeah they are bad, but not distinctly to this movie. Overall, I like this movie. It has a great story, good acting, and fairly good sets. The problems are very noticeable, but these problems are used in every Tim Burton movie. I enjoy this movie and is defiantly on my list of movies I like that everyone else hates. Roald Dahl would be satisfied. 8/10