Dark Shadows Review

 

 Burton and Depp have been powers together for years. Ed Wood and Edward Scissorhands have to be two of of Depp's best performances. In Alice in Wonderland Depp was honestly one of the only things I really enjoy about that movie. I bring this up because the number one problem with Dark Shadows IS Depp. This movie has a very weak story, terrible acting, and AWFUL characters. Dark Shadows is the worst Burton movie ever and is definitely one of the worst movies of 2012. The story is a cliché. Barnabas Collins, an imprisoned vampire, is set free and returns to his home, where his descendants are in need of his protection from the same witch that cursed Barnabas. This movie is based off the T.V. show of the same name. If you name a T.V. show that had a movie come out in the last decade, they all have had this story line of characters from old times trying to interact with the current world (Smurfs, Yogi Bear, Scooby Doo, etc.). It is depressing that a horror-comedy made for ADULTS has the same story as the Smurfs. The good things in this movie are minimal. I liked the music as I am an Alice Cooper fan. As always I enjoyed Chloë Grace Moretz. I think she is the best child actress for the past couple years (Hugo, Kick-Ass, etc) and she alone gives the movie some extra spirit. Michelle Pfeiffer was OK as well. Another thing I would like to point out is the grounds keeper has the only funny lines throughout the whole movie. The movie has TONS of problems. The movie is very unsure what it exactly it wants to be. The tone will take a 180 at random points and the plot defiantly suffers. An example is one scene where Barnabas Collins is sitting, talking to a bunch or hippies smoking pot. They are all having a great time and Barnabas even smokes a joint. Immediately after Barnabas say he has to kill them and does. An audience cannot get behind a movie that has no clue what it wants to be. The villain is also very terrible and many scenes and characters go no where. The number one problem that ruins the entire movie is Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins. He gets my award for worst actor of the year and I honestly think he made this movie go from a 5 to a 4. I honestly find him to be intolerable and I really think Depp phoned in this performance. Overall, I really do not like this movie. The story is lame, the acting is terrible (for the most part), and the tone is all over the place. Dark Shadows is a very lazy and unfunny movie that so far is at number 5 for the worst movie of 2012. 4/10