Dark Shadows Review

 

 Burton and Depp have been powers together for years. Ed Wood and Edward Scissorhands have to be two of of Depp's best performances. In Alice in Wonderland Depp was honestly one of the only things I really enjoy about that movie. I bring this up because the number one problem with Dark Shadows IS Depp. This movie has a very weak story, terrible acting, and AWFUL characters. Dark Shadows is the worst Burton movie ever and is definitely one of the worst movies of 2012. The story is a cliché. Barnabas Collins, an imprisoned vampire, is set free and returns to his home, where his descendants are in need of his protection from the same witch that cursed Barnabas. This movie is based off the T.V. show of the same name. If you name a T.V. show that had a movie come out in the last decade, they all have had this story line of characters from old times trying to interact with the current world (Smurfs, Yogi Bear, Scooby Doo, etc.). It is depressing that a horror-comedy made for ADULTS has the same story as the Smurfs. The good things in this movie are minimal. I liked the music as I am an Alice Cooper fan. As always I enjoyed Chloë Grace Moretz. I think she is the best child actress for the past couple years (Hugo, Kick-Ass, etc) and she alone gives the movie some extra spirit. Michelle Pfeiffer was OK as well. Another thing I would like to point out is the grounds keeper has the only funny lines throughout the whole movie. The movie has TONS of problems. The movie is very unsure what it exactly it wants to be. The tone will take a 180 at random points and the plot defiantly suffers. An example is one scene where Barnabas Collins is sitting, talking to a bunch or hippies smoking pot. They are all having a great time and Barnabas even smokes a joint. Immediately after Barnabas say he has to kill them and does. An audience cannot get behind a movie that has no clue what it wants to be. The villain is also very terrible and many scenes and characters go no where. The number one problem that ruins the entire movie is Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins. He gets my award for worst actor of the year and I honestly think he made this movie go from a 5 to a 4. I honestly find him to be intolerable and I really think Depp phoned in this performance. Overall, I really do not like this movie. The story is lame, the acting is terrible (for the most part), and the tone is all over the place. Dark Shadows is a very lazy and unfunny movie that so far is at number 5 for the worst movie of 2012. 4/10

Alice in Wonderland review

 

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland is a film that I really just don't
like, at all. Alice in Wonderland is just an obvious sign of Tim Burton
just going straight downhill and hitting rock bottom. This movie just
doesn't care about any of the characters or the conflict that it just
leaves you with a bad taste by the end. As good and whimsical as the
1951 Disney version is, Burton's version does not even try to enchant
you it more just tries to make you love the movie for the visuals.

Alice in Wonderland is a movie that just doesn't care and is just a bad
movie.The story tries, but fails. 19-year-old Alice returns to the
magical world of wonderland, where she reunites with her old friends
and learns that she has to end the Red Queen's reign of terror. This
movie does not even try to relate the show back to the original movie
or book. Was there even a Red Queen in the original story? You mean the
queen of hearts?

The good in Alice in Wonderland is there, but far
between. Nice visuals, but that should be a given for this movie.
Johnny Depp is good as the Mad Hatter even though he is not memorable
at all. Actually, that is all of the good I can think of, that is sad
that there are so few good things in this movie.

There are a TON of terrible things in this movie. The story is just awful, I mean terrible. It just is obviously there to push along the effects. The acting from out main, Mia Wasikowska, is pretty bad and she basically
sleepwalked throughout the whole thing. I have seen her in good things
like Lawless but she really can't act here. Also, many of the main
characters we are supposed to like are just not likable. Both the
Dormouse and Tweedledee / Tweedledum are just characters I ended up
despising by the end. Tweedledee and Tweedledum are almost Skids and
Mudflap bad, yeah that's right I said it.

Overall, Alice in Wonderland
is just a film I really did not care for. This film doesn't even try to
entertain and comes of more as Transformers for Twilight fans. I can
honestly say Alice in Wonderland is the worst adaptation of this
classic book and one of Burton's worst films. Next, Tim Burton decides
to reinvent one of his favorite T.V. shows, and fails badly.  4/10

Corpse Bride review

I did enjoy Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. For all of its' flaws, it was good solid fun. The Corpse Bride could have been great and could have been one of the greats of clay-mation. Tim Burton, who helped work on The Nightmare Before Christmas one of my favorite films of all time, has an idea how to make a good stop-motion film. The Corpse Bride is a passable movie that has TONS of problems that are constantly overlooked by fans of this movie. The Corpse Bride is only an OK effort. The story centers around Victor. A shy groom who practices his wedding vows in the presence of a dead woman, she rises from the grave assuming he has married her. The story is just silly even compared to other Burton work. There is also a side story about a murder but that isn't even worth mentioning as it is pretty obvious what the twist is. Again this is very character driven. an average story. The good things are good in a sense of that it has to be good. Good music, amazing character designs, nice animation, and cool sets. Then again, ALL Burton movies do all of these so what do I do about it here? The problems are obvious. dumb story, bad characters and predictable plot. I can tell you exactly every way this movie will go from point to point throughout. The characters are lame and the main character is just a wuss. I wasn't rooting for him at all and I just did not care about him. This movie has problems and tie with the good. Overall, the movie is satisfactory. It may look like I bashed this film but that is only because it is so disappointing. The Corpse Bride could have been so much more, but it stands as an average effort of a movie that I was just disappointed in. 6/10

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Here is an old review I did a while back

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a movie I don't understand all the hate for. The movie is slightly less inventive then the 1971 version,but that was a very tough act to follow. The good things in this movie outweigh the bad and the bad things are problems in most to all Tim Burton movies but are just more noticeable here. The story of this movie is one everyone knows. The great candy man Willy Wonka puts out five golden tickets to take a tour of his until now closed factory. The tickets go to Augustus Gloop the glutton of a boy, Violet Beauregarde the competitive girl, Veruca Salt the spoiled one, Mike Teevee a smart but mean gamer, and Charlie bucket the poor little boy. The story is of course timeless and we discover the factory along with the kids. Great story. The good parts outshine the bad. The Acting is good, Grandpa Joe is pretty funny and so are Mr. Salt and Willy Wonka. The kids are OK, nothing special even Charlie himself is only average. I like the Oompa Loompas, the effects are amazing and the songs, while not as good as the original, are great. I do enjoy the factory, it is very cool and colorful and some other sets are nice. Overall, good stuff. The bad in this movie are noticeable, but are bad things in almost every Tim Burton. Some sets do kind of twist around each other.While not as annoying as it was in Batman, it is still very distracting. The movie also has way to many characters. The other grandparents, Mrs. Gloop, Mr. Teevee, and Mrs. Beauregarde are all just there and have absolutely no importance to the story. There is also a side story about Wonka's past which is just dumb and it has a VERY disappointing payoff. And the ending........wow. The ending is just terrible. but these are problems for most Burton movies so yeah they are bad, but not distinctly to this movie. Overall, I like this movie. It has a great story, good acting, and fairly good sets. The problems are very noticeable, but these problems are used in every Tim Burton movie. I enjoy this movie and is defiantly on my list of movies I like that everyone else hates. Roald Dahl would be satisfied. 8/10